Hello, long time no touch this blog.
I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore, which is fine, I just wanted to update so I could get a few things off my chest and written down, and since I do not feel like tumblr is really a sufficient place for me to blog things, I thought I would touch this one again.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about things that happened last year.
My uncle in New York passed away in September. He was my father's youngest brother, only 13 or so years older than myself, so it was a huge shock to anyone. Within a few days, my dad and I got tickets to fly to New York and mentally prepare ourselves for what was yet to come.
I have attended funerals since I was very young. Death was not a new concept to me, and yet I learned just how a big of an impact an event such as this really makes on a family. I never had thought of it in terms of if it happened to me. No one expected any of this to happen and he was so young so the wake and the funeral were both gigantic events. It was really intense sitting in the room for the wake at the funeral home for a good 10 hours of the day. I can't get over how you can see someone, they're there right in front of you, but everything that made them the person they were, and everything that made them, not to be funny, but, alive, is just completely gone. It was something that I had never had to come to terms with in person ever before. It was like my uncle was right there, yet he can't hear anything you're saying, he can't come talk to you, he can't hug you or joke with you anymore. The fact that I had been sitting around watching television with him just the month before at the apartment in Queens made the whole thing just even more surreal for me.
As incredibly depressing as that entire event was, the sheer amount of people who came to pay their respects was so astounding. Literally, almost our entire family on the east coast had made their way over to say goodbye to him. It was insane. People drove in from New Jersey, from Pennsylvania, from every which way. Family members that my dad hadn't seen in decades, and I hadn't seen in a decade either myself. Everyone really came together. And even after the jam packed funeral the next day, the entire family came together at my other Uncle's place and really kept each other company. My father's side of the family is massive, and it made me really appreciate just how massive it was and everyone who is a part of it. Without all of them I know this whole event would have been much harder for my grandparents and aunts and uncles and my dad, but they have so many great people there to take care of them and support them through thick and thin... I can't begin to explain how amazing it was.
Things like this are, not to sound extremely cliche, really life changing.
I honestly feel like after that trip my point of view on so many things have changed a bit.
Just everything about that trip, from travelling across country on almost day long journeys with just my dad, and bonding with him after not having seen him in a while, to having to come to terms with the fact I would never see my uncle again, to seeing my dad's side of the family pull together to help each other get through such a tragedy, was so eye opening, and such a one of a kind experience that its hard to even put into words how I felt or how I still feel. All I know is I've never felt quite so far away from New York before, and its a feeling I really dislike.
it was probably the biggest thing that happened in 2012 and one of the biggest things that will stand out in my mind for a good portion of my life.
